Becoming the best person you can be does not happen on accident or by chance, just as much as becoming the best counselor, coach, or athlete you can be does not happen on accident or by chance.
Greatness takes place on purpose, and with purpose.
Some people think that going through hardship and experiencing suffering automatically and somehow magically makes the sufferer a better person. This is not true. How many people can you think of right now off the top of your head that are bitter and resentful because of experiences they have been through? Probably a lot.
Now, think of someone who you are inspired by. I am willing to bet that this person has experienced hardship and suffering. But, rather than becoming bitter, they have become better. They have been changed, maybe even transformed. They have become better not in spite of the hardship, but because of it.
The wisest people among us have been forged in the fire of experience. Being resilient is not only an idea to them – it is a fact of their lives. It is a reality to them.
The deepest lessons are often the costliest ones. The deepest wisdom is hard-won. People do not become wise by chance.
Suffering and hardship do not magically make you a better person, but they can be the strongest catalysts to become a deeper thinker, more compassionate, quick to listen and slow to make judgements about people and their situations, and so much more.
Go through your suffering and grow through your suffering.
Make your suffering count. Cry, weep, and hurt all that you need to. It might do more harm than good while you are suffering to try to draw out what you can learn from it. That is absolutely fine. Hurt, weep, and mourn your losses. Feel your pain.
When you process through your suffering and hardship and reflect on your situation, squeeze out every ounce you can, and use it. Use it to learn. Use it to improve. Use it to help others. Use it to become better.
Make your suffering count. Make your hardship count. Make your tears count.
Feel everything that your suffering is, and trust that eventually you will be able to use it.
-Adam Barfoot, M.Ed.
Counseling and Functional Fitness 